My son has recently been diagnosed with chronic anxiety. He has spent 4 days at school in three weeks and every morning is a nightmare in our house. He is home again this morning and we have threatened all his priveleges (the last ditch effort) but he would rather lose everything than go to school. We start counselling this week but need an instant solution. Help!
Answers:
Learn how to become a better parent. I see clearly why he has anxiety if his parent's first reaction to his life's difficulties is to punish him. That's pretty bad in and of itself, but the fact that you think you can find a quick fix for a disease that we (anxiety sufferers) have to deal with for years and sometimes decades, shows your complete lack of education for this particular issue. You need to get educated and read some books on anxiety. Then maybe you can help your son, because he needs you.
He cannot help his medical condition so I don't think it was a good idea to take his privileges away.
How old is your son? Depending on the age, your child needs different relaxation techniques.
What's he so afraid of about school? If you confront the problem at hand and ask him, maybe you'll find a solution to hopefully solve this.
I had huge anxiety when I started my first day of high school. I had a panic attack on the first day and spent the next three weeks having smaller ones. Eventually I got used to it and more comfortable in my surroundings.
Might be a sign that he has been abused physically or sexually. Either that or he hasn't played with too many children like @ Chuckee Cheese or the park.
You don't say how old your son is.
If he is under 10.maybe you could ask his teacher if you could maybe help out in his classroom, just being there may help him.
His teacher will be as concerned as you or should be!
It sounds like something horrible is happening to him at school and you punishing him will just make it worse. Get to that school and find out what's going on! You might need to transfer him to another school if things are really bad.
I don't think threatening his privileges is going to help because he can not help his feelings.I don't know how old your son is but, if he is younger try making it a good thing to go to school. like dinner of his chose or A movie that he has been waning to see. you say a nightmare in the morning then i guess that he is the crying and the refusing to get dressed, the fighting and the screaming?All i can say is stick to your guns and if he wont get dresses take him to school in his PJ's.
( take clothes with you i case he wants to dress when he gets to school)
Look, when I was growing up, my mother went off on a mental health obsession. I got diagnosed with bi polar disorder, severe depression and anxiety attacks. was in therapy from third grade, to the time i moved out. I saw a slew of psychiatrists that perscribed all kinds of crazy drugs which did not help and some of which even turned out to be dangerous after more testing. Week after week i sat in an office decorated like a living room equipt with a box of tissues where i was expected to pour out my inner most thoughts to some yahoo with a degree in bs on the wall thinking about whether they wanted chicken or beef for dinner. The worst part of it all was every week my poor mother kept expecting for me to have some breakthrough with the drugs or the therapy and be the carefree little girl she always imagined who always did everything right and was always happy.
I moved out, cut out the drugs and the therapy, and now my mother considers me a success. I work and go to school fulltime, pay all of my own bills and take good care of my health.
My point is, being a teenager is not a mental illness, plain and simple. Just because your son doesn't want to go to school or gets anxious (even if that is often) does not mean he has a problem. Because if thats the case than every teenager across the country is menatlly disturbed. If he's anything like I was at his age he's using your worrying over his 'mental diagnosis' to his own advantage. "If i go to class today, mom, i swear I'm going to loose it! You just don't understand..blah blah blah." He throws a big scene, and gets you and your spouse either so worried or exasperated that he gets his way.
Do not let the mental health industry convince you that your son has a problem, remember that healthcare is not a non-profit institution. If you take an active role in your kid's life, and treat him like a normal human being, then he'll become one. You are the ones who know him the best, you will have the best solution for getting him back to school. Trust yourself, and trust your son.
JUST COMFORET HIM MAKE HIM FEEL THAT HE IS WANTED AND EVERY BODY LOVES HIM AND SHOW THAT YOU CARE FOR HIM AND HUG HIM AND KISS HIM AND JUST SHOW THAT YOU CARE FOR HIM
Oooh, way to de-stress a child suffering from chronic anxiety...
Threaten all his privileges...
I wish you were MY parents...
NOT!
He has a condition that means he is psychologically incapable of coping with things most people find easy...
If going to school stresses your poor little man out - consider home tutoring until the counselling sessions teach him how to cope.
Before you know it he'll be all grown up and independent of you - make the most of him while you've got him... and help him to be all he CAN be.
Sending kind thoughts to you and your little fella...
5 Ways:
1. Empty His Bedroom Of All His Favourite Stuff And Say This Is What You Will Have If You Do Not Have An Education.
2. Go Into A Quiet Room And Calmly Say Look, If You Want To Grow Up With No School And No Friends, Fine But Please, With An Education You Can Go Futher.
3.Force Him To School, Throw Him In The Car, Dressed Or Not, And Drive There.
4. Leave Him Alone, Don't Talk To Him Till He Agrees To Go To School
5. Kick Him Out. (Last Resort)
Hope this Helps
Dear Woolie. There is not instant solution. Anxiety takes time to heal. I
Answers:
Learn how to become a better parent. I see clearly why he has anxiety if his parent's first reaction to his life's difficulties is to punish him. That's pretty bad in and of itself, but the fact that you think you can find a quick fix for a disease that we (anxiety sufferers) have to deal with for years and sometimes decades, shows your complete lack of education for this particular issue. You need to get educated and read some books on anxiety. Then maybe you can help your son, because he needs you.
He cannot help his medical condition so I don't think it was a good idea to take his privileges away.
How old is your son? Depending on the age, your child needs different relaxation techniques.
What's he so afraid of about school? If you confront the problem at hand and ask him, maybe you'll find a solution to hopefully solve this.
I had huge anxiety when I started my first day of high school. I had a panic attack on the first day and spent the next three weeks having smaller ones. Eventually I got used to it and more comfortable in my surroundings.
Might be a sign that he has been abused physically or sexually. Either that or he hasn't played with too many children like @ Chuckee Cheese or the park.
You don't say how old your son is.
If he is under 10.maybe you could ask his teacher if you could maybe help out in his classroom, just being there may help him.
His teacher will be as concerned as you or should be!
It sounds like something horrible is happening to him at school and you punishing him will just make it worse. Get to that school and find out what's going on! You might need to transfer him to another school if things are really bad.
I don't think threatening his privileges is going to help because he can not help his feelings.I don't know how old your son is but, if he is younger try making it a good thing to go to school. like dinner of his chose or A movie that he has been waning to see. you say a nightmare in the morning then i guess that he is the crying and the refusing to get dressed, the fighting and the screaming?All i can say is stick to your guns and if he wont get dresses take him to school in his PJ's.
( take clothes with you i case he wants to dress when he gets to school)
Look, when I was growing up, my mother went off on a mental health obsession. I got diagnosed with bi polar disorder, severe depression and anxiety attacks. was in therapy from third grade, to the time i moved out. I saw a slew of psychiatrists that perscribed all kinds of crazy drugs which did not help and some of which even turned out to be dangerous after more testing. Week after week i sat in an office decorated like a living room equipt with a box of tissues where i was expected to pour out my inner most thoughts to some yahoo with a degree in bs on the wall thinking about whether they wanted chicken or beef for dinner. The worst part of it all was every week my poor mother kept expecting for me to have some breakthrough with the drugs or the therapy and be the carefree little girl she always imagined who always did everything right and was always happy.
I moved out, cut out the drugs and the therapy, and now my mother considers me a success. I work and go to school fulltime, pay all of my own bills and take good care of my health.
My point is, being a teenager is not a mental illness, plain and simple. Just because your son doesn't want to go to school or gets anxious (even if that is often) does not mean he has a problem. Because if thats the case than every teenager across the country is menatlly disturbed. If he's anything like I was at his age he's using your worrying over his 'mental diagnosis' to his own advantage. "If i go to class today, mom, i swear I'm going to loose it! You just don't understand..blah blah blah." He throws a big scene, and gets you and your spouse either so worried or exasperated that he gets his way.
Do not let the mental health industry convince you that your son has a problem, remember that healthcare is not a non-profit institution. If you take an active role in your kid's life, and treat him like a normal human being, then he'll become one. You are the ones who know him the best, you will have the best solution for getting him back to school. Trust yourself, and trust your son.
JUST COMFORET HIM MAKE HIM FEEL THAT HE IS WANTED AND EVERY BODY LOVES HIM AND SHOW THAT YOU CARE FOR HIM AND HUG HIM AND KISS HIM AND JUST SHOW THAT YOU CARE FOR HIM
Oooh, way to de-stress a child suffering from chronic anxiety...
Threaten all his privileges...
I wish you were MY parents...
NOT!
He has a condition that means he is psychologically incapable of coping with things most people find easy...
If going to school stresses your poor little man out - consider home tutoring until the counselling sessions teach him how to cope.
Before you know it he'll be all grown up and independent of you - make the most of him while you've got him... and help him to be all he CAN be.
Sending kind thoughts to you and your little fella...
5 Ways:
1. Empty His Bedroom Of All His Favourite Stuff And Say This Is What You Will Have If You Do Not Have An Education.
2. Go Into A Quiet Room And Calmly Say Look, If You Want To Grow Up With No School And No Friends, Fine But Please, With An Education You Can Go Futher.
3.Force Him To School, Throw Him In The Car, Dressed Or Not, And Drive There.
4. Leave Him Alone, Don't Talk To Him Till He Agrees To Go To School
5. Kick Him Out. (Last Resort)
Hope this Helps
Dear Woolie. There is not instant solution. Anxiety takes time to heal. I